“I’ve shrunk back in relationships, worrying too much about what others think of me and always assuming they think the worst. I’ve shrunk back in ministry, unsure of my gifts, unsure of my place, and feeling as if I was on the outside, mostly because I put myself there and kept myself there. I’ve shrunk back as a mother, letting my failures and insecurities lead. I’ve shrunk back in my writing, afraid to remove the protection I’ve placed around my heart, uncertain that I have anything to say and, above all, questioning if this is God’s idea or if it’s been my selfish idea all along. I’ve even shrunk back a little from God, holding parts of myself away from him.
What if I lived as if the gospel were true every hour of every day? How would that change things?”
From Good to Grace…Christine Hoover
From Good to Grace…Christine Hoover
I have spent the last couple of years feeling exactly as Christine wrote that. How did she read me so well? I think I felt a little validation that I’m not alone and that I’m not completely crazy.
So I started to think about what if I lived as if the gospel were true everyday? How does that change things? It changes everything. When I live my life as if it depends on me I will screw it up every time. When I live everyday as if it depends on God it gives me comfort knowing that He is in control. He knows what’s best for me. He has a plan for my life.
It.takes.all.the.pressure.off.
It all boils down to pride and fear. Pride that is self-centered, fear that God doesn’t really know what He’s doing and that somehow He needs me.
It’s about a lack of faith that Jesus died for my sins. He rose from the grave and sits at the right hand of the Father. There is nothing I can do to earn His love because I already have it.
His grace covers me.
