Category: change


Jan
2024

[2024]

categories: change, faith, oneword365, purposeful

Blogging for me has taken a hiatus for a few years. I haven’t really been able to make it what I wanted it to be. I’m a perfectionist by nature and if I can’t do something to my expectations then I tend to not do anything. So here I am picking up the “pen” to try again.

Life looks different now with 3 adult children and we have settled into the life of empty nesters, although one is still at home after just graduating from college. I also made a huge career change this year that has taken me out of my comfort zone but in a really good way.

I don’t have many expectations or resolutions for 2024 but I did settle on my word for this year.

Peace

Gotquestions.org says that the primary word for peace in the Old Testament is shalom and “refers to relationships between people, nations and God with men.”

It goes on to say that the primary Greek word for “peace” in the New Testament is eirene. It refers to rest and tranquility. That is my prayer and hope for this year. I know that that hope comes only from my relationship with Jesus.

I am starting the year off heading to West Africa for a missions trip. I will share more on that when I return but for now I am ready to see what God has in store for me and the team as well as the people we are going to visit and serve.


Jan
2021

[fix]

categories: change, faith, five minute fridays, steady

My goal this year is to participate in Five Minute Fridays as many weeks as I can.  Of course my go to is perfection, but I know that’s not possible.  So here I am, for the second week in a row, posting at the last minute before the link closes.

This week’s prompt was difficult for me.  I honestly don’t know what words to share that encompass fix.  The first thought I had was fixing things.  I am not a “fixer” by nature, especially when it comes to relationships outside my people in my home.  It’s just easier sometimes to let acquaintances and “friends” wither away over time than to have hard conversations and “fix” what is usually a miscommunication.

So I decided to look in the Bible and see what the original meaning of fix might be.  In my search, it took me to Psalm 108:1.  The ESV says, “My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being.”  Doesn’t seem to fit the topic of fix.  But then I did some more digging.  The KJV says “O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise, even with my glory.

Fix in one version, steadfast in another.  If you read my first post of 2021, I chose my word for the year; wait for it…STEADY!

Chaim Bentorah says that in Psalm 108:1, David “calls out to God saying that his heart is fixed.  The word for fixed is kon which has the idea of being established or directed. Today we would say his heart was focused.”

So with that validation today of the word God laid on my heart for 2021 of being steady…maybe it’s more about steadiness in my relationships than the perfection of ensuring I write one post a week for 52 weeks.  Hmmm…


Jan
2021

[time]

categories: change, faith, five minute fridays

Time…there never seems to be enough of it. If 2020 taught us anything, it was that a pandemic can stop us in our tracks and make us slow down even when we don’t want to. I saw so many posts on social media that touted how 2021 was going to save us all from 2020. Folks couldn’t wait for 2020 to end and wished for 2021 to be the savior of all that is wrong in the world. As 2021 approached, it gave many hope that this too shall pass. Well, the first full week of 2021, particularly in Washington, DC, showed us something different.

There is no new year that can save us. There is no person (or president) on this earth who can save us. Only Jesus Christ has that power. For those of us who are followers of Jesus know that this earth is not our home. We live in a broken, messed up world filled with broken, messed up people. We can’t do this on our own.

So while time didn’t stop and everything didn’t magically get better when we flipped the page on a new year, it did allow us, or me anyway, to slow down and reflect on how I spend my time, to look at what’s really important, and maybe more importantly, what’s not.


Aug
2020

[a thing]

categories: change, faith, family, intentional, new normal

I did a thing a couple of weeks ago. If you had asked me ten years ago if I would ever get a tattoo the answer would have been a resounding no. But seasons change and a few years ago I started thinking about it and over the last year started thinking about it a lot.

I spent a lot of time figuring out what I wanted. I wanted it to mean something to me if I was going to place something on my body for the rest of my life.

I had decided what I wanted and with some good advice waited to make sure it was really what I wanted. But about 3 months ago I changed my mind. I had seen a quote from Jim Elliott that I hadn’t heard before.

If you don’t know who Jim Elliott is, click here. He, along with 4 other missionaries, were killed in the 1950’s by the people group they were trying to reach. While their deaths were tragic, through their deaths a people group who had never heard the Gospel did hear it. And they heard it from the families of those they killed. A movement of Jesus in that tribe was born.

When I started this blog a few years, I had grandiose ideas that it would take off and that I had something to say that others wanted to hear. Well, it really only serves for me to capture my thoughts in writing. The title “random thoughts of a wife and mom embracing this season of life” birthed from conversations I had with younger moms of littles who were overwhelmed and tired. My words to them were always to enjoy the season you are in because it goes by so quickly. When my kids were little I never wanted to wish away those years. Yes I was tired physically, but I knew they would one day be gone. And when I am emotionally tired with teenagers and young adults today, I don’t want to wish this season away either. It too will be gone one day.

So the quote “wherever you are, be all there” sums up my life motto. I don’t always get it right but it brings peace to my soul and a desire to trust God everyday that He has me right where He wants me.

“He is like a tree planted beside flowing streams that bears its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” Psalms 1:3 CSB


Jan
2020

[one word 2020]

categories: change, faith, oneword365

I spent the better part of December thinking about what my oneword365 would be for 2020. I created a Note on my phone and as words came to me through people, articles I read or my Bible reading, I would add them to the list. As I spent time looking at the list I created, I realized that all of the words could be wrapped up in one of the those words in some way. My word for 2020 is transformation.

Merriam-Webster defines “transform” as change in composition or structure; to change the outward form or appearance or to change in character or condition. I searched my bible app for verses that relate to transformation and there are a few but two stood out to me…

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, and see, the new has come!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 CSB

“Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing and perfect will of God.” – Romans 12:2 CSB

I was struggling with choosing this word because it seems so large and well, big. It seems like some overnight change in my life that changes everything and others will notice right away and want to know what “get rich quick” scheme I used. This introvert really just wants to make small everyday changes that go pretty much unnoticed by others.

But I think that small, daily changes will bring about transformation over time. I’m not looking for a big wow factor, but a slow and steady change that will stick throughout 2020 and beyond. I’ve made many “resolutions” to eat better, lose weight, exercise more, share Jesus more, read my Bible more, but over time those “resolutions” fade for many reasons but mostly because I wanted the end result now without putting in the work necessary to achieve them.

So in 2020, I will be focusing on daily changes holding to God’s promise that because He is faithful, I will not perish. His mercies never end and they are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).


Jan
2019

[love]

categories: change, faith, family, oneword365

My oneword365 for 2019 is love. If I’m truly honest, I don’t love well. I am a pretty selfish person and my desires to do what I think God wants me to do in ministry and volunteer work may be getting in the way of me loving my family and friends well. In fact, I’m not sure I have been doing what God wants me to do for many years. I have let my calling of being a wife and mom take second stage. I’ve also let sharing Jesus with those who need to know Him fall behind doing things for Him. I’ve let doing things for the Lord become more important than my relationship with the Lord.

So in 2019, I plan to dive deep into Scripture and see just what it says about love and how I can love Jesus more and go deeper in the relationships that He’s set before me. I hope to share what God shows me here on these pages.

Photo credit

Sep
2018

[september]

categories: change, faith, family, oneword365, organization, reading

September is the new January for many moms with kids still in school. My two younger kids actually went back to school two weeks ago. My oldest headed back up to New York yesterday to start his second year with Word of Life Bible Institute. So we haven’t gotten into our new normal routine yet. Today I opened my calendar to a fresh month. Not a blank slate because life doesn’t ever stop, but a chance to look over my life for the next 30 days. I can’t look much past that right now.

My one Word for 2018 is “simplify.” What have I done over the last eight months that would reflect to others that I am simplifying my life. Probably not much…I’m still just as busy, maybe even busier than I want to be, my husband lost his job of 27 years, a child who has made some really bad decisions that, honestly, we don’t know the long term effects as of right now.

But I do know that God is in control and that I have to remain faithful and obedient. And I have to trust that He’s got this. He’s shown Himself in many ways. My husband has a new job which has turned out to be a much bigger blessing than we anticipated. We’ll have to wait a little longer for the outcome for my son, but I know that He is teaching us something through it and that no matter the outcome, God is still good.

Simplifying my heart has been difficult. I knew it would be. One of my goals was to read through the Bible chronologically this year. I am on track as of right now. I pray that as I read the Word it will declutter my heart. The bitterness is fading. My hope was for restoration or at least genuine reconciliation, but God hasn’t provided that yet. But the days of lingering in the sorrow of a lost relationship are becoming easier.

Simplying my home is always a work in progress. I had to clean this past weekend because we invited a family over for dinner and a movie. I love the joy I experience while we fellowship but even more the joy I feel in my heart when my home is still clean the next day, even if only for a day. I want to bottle up that feeling to remind me why I should work a little everyday to make my home a sanctuary. I have an awesome friend who encourages me in this area and we hold each other accountable to declutter something every week.

God has provided a second person to my little discipleship group. It has changed the dynamic of the group but the conversations are wonderful. It’s amazing to me how coffee with friends can also satisfy my heart as I continue to learn to open myself up a little more each time. He also provided me two new ladies to fellowship with through short devotions on my Bible app.

God has shown me this year more than ever that the little things are so important to this journey and that I need to reflect on them more than I do. Coffee with friends, dinner and a movie, devotions with friends, any time with my husband and kids…He is in all of these things.

So as September blows in with all of the items on my calendar in this “new year…” ladies Fall Bible study, a few training classes/ conferences, kids gearing up for a new youth group year, uncertainty in some situations, I first need to look to Him for direction and guidance and then everything else will fall into place.


Jan
2018

[simplify]

categories: change, faith, oneword365

I have been praying over what word God would speak over me for 2018. Or if He would give me a word at all. Is it that important to focus so much on a word? Nevertheless there were three words that came to me…trust, forgive and unplug.

I dissected each word and why it would be important for my life in 2018. Trust is something I struggle with and it has affected my relationships over the years, especially with other women. I find it hard to open up and share the sacred pieces of my heart. But God has put a few women in my life over the last year that He has entrusted to me. Not all of them have blossomed the way I envisioned but one has and I am very grateful for His favor.

Forgiveness has been hard. My husband and I have been hurt over the last few years by someone in a leadership position in our church. Oh don’t get me wrong…we share in some of the blame but the relationship is superficially reconciled, but not what it used to be. I’m not sure it ever will be. It has affected our ministry but I’m tired of the bitterness in my heart and am ready to trust God with that person.

Unplug refers to how much time I spend on social media. And while much of who I follow and much of what I read is on spiritual things, it is still a distraction from my relationship with Jesus, my family and friends.

I came across this quiz by Dayspring to help determine your one word for the new year. You answer a few questions about what you want in 2018 and it spits out a word. I took the quiz hoping it would confirm one of the three words above. But it didn’t. It brought back “simplify.”

I pondered on that word most of yesterday. It wasn’t what I was thinking of at all. But then it started to make some sense. My life has been complicated by unforgiveness, bitterness, social media and a fear of going deeper in my relationships. Simplifying, decluttering my life, could help with all three areas.

Opening up my home more often and inviting others in, not only for dinner or dessert, but for meaningful conversation and building life long friendships. Of course this means decluttering my house to be able to invite others in so they have a place to sit down.

Simplifying my heart or uncluttering it will be more difficult. It will take effort and a lot of prayer for God to “create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalms 51:10 CSB). I will be reading through the Bible this year. I’ve read through the Bible before but this will be the first time reading it in chronological order. Focusing on the Word, I know my heart will be softened and I will be able to hear from Him more clearly. Simplifying social media (or reducing it significantly) will help to make more time for more important things.

So my one word for 2018 will be simplify. Happy New Year!


Sep
2016

[end of summer]

categories: change, faith, grace

I’m not one to start the next season before it actually begins.  I’ve tried to live in the moment and enjoy the season I’m in.  While Fall is my favorite season of the year, it will come like it always does the third week of September.  I refuse to order a Pumpkin Spice Latte before Fall actually arrives.

It seems like once July 4th comes and goes I start to see posts and tweets longing for sweatshirt weather and football.  The first day of school definitely ends the summer social season.  But I am holding on to this season because of the many wonderful things (and not so wonderful) that happened over this summer.

For a long time now, God has been calling me to disciple other women.  I’ve led a ladies Bible study for years and while I love these ladies with all of my heart there hasn’t been anyone that I’ve created a one-on-one relationship with outside of our weekly meetings.  I had been praying that He would send me someone local that I could pour into and who would pour into me.  He did just that in June and every Tuesday night we meet at Starbucks and talk about life, struggles we are going through and what our hopes for the future are.  It has taken me out of my comfort zone but it has encouraged me to reach out to other women as well.  For this introvert, it can be difficult to take the first step.  It’s even more difficult to open up and really trust someone with your heart.

The summer has had its challenges. He has taught me through a relationship at work that isn’t going as I’d like, how to communicate, to be bold and have hard conversations even if the relationship can’t be restored.  I read a post by Dr. Tony Evans this week that when a broken relationship cannot be healed, we need to seek healing from that broken relationship because it could harm future relationships.  It breaks my heart when relationships cannot be restored but God can renew our hearts and move us to a place of healing.

He has renewed my heart and awakened in me a joy and expectancy that I wasn’t sure would return.  He has been faithful and has even sent us three families that have become near and dear to our hearts.  He has given us new ministry opportunities and ways to serve that I didn’t even dream of.

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I am thankful for the opportunities He has provided and the struggles that I have had to navigate.  I am thankful for a renewed joy and expectancy He has given me.  I am soaking up these last couple of weeks of summer and I will NOT order a Pumpkin Spice Latte until after September 22nd.


Oct
2015

[diving in]

categories: change, write 31 days

I took a bold leap of faith yesterday and created my own domain and setup a website using Bluehost.  I had previously been using a free blog site but if I am going to get serious about writing then it’s time to do it right.  The 31 days of writing has really given me a chance to pray and seek God’s wisdom and direction about blogging more regularly.  I am still seeking what it is He wants me to write about specifically but I know He will.  Bear with me as I get the site set up.  Your grace is appreciated.

blogging

photo credit domain.me