[five minute friday – weary]

Weary…it brings up feelings of tiredness, hopelessness, anxiousness. I am not in a season of physical or emotional weariness right now but I have been there. The weariness that I am in right now is spiritual.

Not feeling like I spend my time well with God. That my prayers are not good enough, that my journaling (when it happens) is not good enough. When I see prayer journal pictures on Instagram or quiet time spaces in people’s homes I feel inadequate.

But does God keep a scorecard on how well we “do” quiet time or is He just excited that we actually choose to spend time with Him? Talking to Him like we would our best girlfriend about our day. I choose to believe it’s the latter.

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[five minute friday – dance]

I decided to join the five minute friday party this week. I have been struggling to get a blog going and thought this might be a good way to get started.

This week’s topic is dance…which I don’t do. Oh I took tap and ballet as a small child but at that age it doesn’t matter because no one can dance. Recitals are made up of parents and grandparents those in oohing and aahing and laughing at all the sweetness on the stage and dance teachers doing their best to at least keep the dancers in a straight line. My daughter is a dancer and a cheerleader. She was born with rhythm.; maybe it skips a generation.

While driving today I heard the song Marvelous Light which was quite appropriate for this week’s topic. Part of the lyrics are:

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

There are times when I am worshipping in song that I can feel the desire to jump and down for my Lord. I don’t, but you never know when it might happen…

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[rest]

I really look forward to Saturdays where we have absolutely nothing on the calendar.  As an introvert, staying at home in my PJs with a hot cup of coffee, a good book or movie is about as joyous a time as I can have.  No schedule, no time clock, no agenda…just time to rest my mind and my soul.  With so many responsibilities during the week I need that time to unwind, to rejuvenate and to think about what God really wants me to do for Him.  I used to feel guilty for not being busy or not doing something the world (and sometimes the church) thinks I should be doing.  I overpacked my schedule for so many years with activity, some really good and worthy activities.  But God has a different path for this season of my life and it clearly includes more time with Him and my family.

While I still use these days to catch up on some things, like laundry or going through all the mail from the week or even balancing my checkbook (which by the way I love to do) these are activities that I complete without pressure and without a timeframe.  I also get to spend more time with this one…the only one of my 3 who still likes to cuddle.

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Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.  Psalm 62:1

[seek]

I was just perusing Facebook and saw this on the Proverbs 31 Online Bible study page…

What dead end are you dealing with tonight? Have you asked God for direction?

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This sums up exactly how I am feeling right now with 31 Days of Writing. I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall. So I will be asking Him for direction and praying over this verse.

[letting my soul breathe]

Letting my soul breath…I’m not really sure how to do this.  I have been so busy for so long that I don’t know how stop and sit on the bench.  I am reading Emily P. Freeman’s new book Simply Tuesday.

I have spent the last 12 years very involved in church ministry and just recently stepped down from all of my leadership roles with the exception of leading a women’s Bible study.  The Lord has been pressing upon my heart to build relationships.  I was so busy getting things done that a lot of times relationships were overlooked in and out of the church.  God made it clear that isn’t what He wanted from or for me.

I  am still seeking Him on what this looks like and I no longer feel guilt about what I’m not doing.  I am enjoying people  more and really focusing on building relationships through my Bible study and a small group I am a part of.

Hmmm…maybe He is showing me what it looks like.

 

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[diving in]

I took a bold leap of faith yesterday and created my own domain and setup a website using Bluehost.  I had previously been using a free blog site but if I am going to get serious about writing then it’s time to do it right.  The 31 days of writing has really given me a chance to pray and seek God’s wisdom and direction about blogging more regularly.  I am still seeking what it is He wants me to write about specifically but I know He will.  Bear with me as I get the site set up.  Your grace is appreciated.

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