Year: 2018


Sep
2018

[september]

categories: change, faith, family, oneword365, organization, reading

September is the new January for many moms with kids still in school. My two younger kids actually went back to school two weeks ago. My oldest headed back up to New York yesterday to start his second year with Word of Life Bible Institute. So we haven’t gotten into our new normal routine yet. Today I opened my calendar to a fresh month. Not a blank slate because life doesn’t ever stop, but a chance to look over my life for the next 30 days. I can’t look much past that right now.

My one Word for 2018 is “simplify.” What have I done over the last eight months that would reflect to others that I am simplifying my life. Probably not much…I’m still just as busy, maybe even busier than I want to be, my husband lost his job of 27 years, a child who has made some really bad decisions that, honestly, we don’t know the long term effects as of right now.

But I do know that God is in control and that I have to remain faithful and obedient. And I have to trust that He’s got this. He’s shown Himself in many ways. My husband has a new job which has turned out to be a much bigger blessing than we anticipated. We’ll have to wait a little longer for the outcome for my son, but I know that He is teaching us something through it and that no matter the outcome, God is still good.

Simplifying my heart has been difficult. I knew it would be. One of my goals was to read through the Bible chronologically this year. I am on track as of right now. I pray that as I read the Word it will declutter my heart. The bitterness is fading. My hope was for restoration or at least genuine reconciliation, but God hasn’t provided that yet. But the days of lingering in the sorrow of a lost relationship are becoming easier.

Simplying my home is always a work in progress. I had to clean this past weekend because we invited a family over for dinner and a movie. I love the joy I experience while we fellowship but even more the joy I feel in my heart when my home is still clean the next day, even if only for a day. I want to bottle up that feeling to remind me why I should work a little everyday to make my home a sanctuary. I have an awesome friend who encourages me in this area and we hold each other accountable to declutter something every week.

God has provided a second person to my little discipleship group. It has changed the dynamic of the group but the conversations are wonderful. It’s amazing to me how coffee with friends can also satisfy my heart as I continue to learn to open myself up a little more each time. He also provided me two new ladies to fellowship with through short devotions on my Bible app.

God has shown me this year more than ever that the little things are so important to this journey and that I need to reflect on them more than I do. Coffee with friends, dinner and a movie, devotions with friends, any time with my husband and kids…He is in all of these things.

So as September blows in with all of the items on my calendar in this “new year…” ladies Fall Bible study, a few training classes/ conferences, kids gearing up for a new youth group year, uncertainty in some situations, I first need to look to Him for direction and guidance and then everything else will fall into place.


Jan
2018

[surrender]

categories: five minute fridays

Surrender – it is a dirty word to this rebellious spirit.  It means giving up control and I love being in control.  My body starts to go into mini convulsions when I feel like I am not in control or when I see control slipping through my hands.

It is not easy surrendering to Jesus, but it is so worth it.  He is so much more capable of handling situations than I am anyway.  I am learning this more and more everyday now that my oldest baby has flown the coop, albeit temporarily.  I cannot control where he goes, whom he hangs around, and who he chooses to listen to.  I can only trust that God loves him much more than I do and that everything we tried to teach him growing up is enough to help him make good decisions.  God has a plan for his life, and His plan is better than anything I could ever imagine, I know it.

This reminds me of Abraham when God asked him to sacrifice his son, Isaac.  Abraham surrendered everything a second time.  First, he left everything he knew to go to a place that God had not even shared.  Now God was asking him to do the unthinkable.  However, Abraham knew without any doubt that God keeps His promises and that He had promised Isaac as his heir.  He may not have known how God would fulfill that promise but he trusted that He would somehow.

Surrendering my heart has been a journey, learning to give everything over to Him, instead of handling myself.  It’s always easier if we do it ourselves, right?  Maybe if I want the towels folded in a certain way, it is easier if I do it myself.  But does having the towels folded in a certain way really matter?  Does it teach my children anything if I do everything myself because I’m just that particular about how the towels are folded?

It sounds crazy, doesn’t it?  Maybe that’s how God feels when we try to do things our own way, whether it’s out of wanting control or just being too comfortable where we are.  I want to be uncomfortable; I want to surrender everything I have to the One who gave it all for me.


Jan
2018

[simplify]

categories: change, faith, oneword365

I have been praying over what word God would speak over me for 2018. Or if He would give me a word at all. Is it that important to focus so much on a word? Nevertheless there were three words that came to me…trust, forgive and unplug.

I dissected each word and why it would be important for my life in 2018. Trust is something I struggle with and it has affected my relationships over the years, especially with other women. I find it hard to open up and share the sacred pieces of my heart. But God has put a few women in my life over the last year that He has entrusted to me. Not all of them have blossomed the way I envisioned but one has and I am very grateful for His favor.

Forgiveness has been hard. My husband and I have been hurt over the last few years by someone in a leadership position in our church. Oh don’t get me wrong…we share in some of the blame but the relationship is superficially reconciled, but not what it used to be. I’m not sure it ever will be. It has affected our ministry but I’m tired of the bitterness in my heart and am ready to trust God with that person.

Unplug refers to how much time I spend on social media. And while much of who I follow and much of what I read is on spiritual things, it is still a distraction from my relationship with Jesus, my family and friends.

I came across this quiz by Dayspring to help determine your one word for the new year. You answer a few questions about what you want in 2018 and it spits out a word. I took the quiz hoping it would confirm one of the three words above. But it didn’t. It brought back “simplify.”

I pondered on that word most of yesterday. It wasn’t what I was thinking of at all. But then it started to make some sense. My life has been complicated by unforgiveness, bitterness, social media and a fear of going deeper in my relationships. Simplifying, decluttering my life, could help with all three areas.

Opening up my home more often and inviting others in, not only for dinner or dessert, but for meaningful conversation and building life long friendships. Of course this means decluttering my house to be able to invite others in so they have a place to sit down.

Simplifying my heart or uncluttering it will be more difficult. It will take effort and a lot of prayer for God to “create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me” (Psalms 51:10 CSB). I will be reading through the Bible this year. I’ve read through the Bible before but this will be the first time reading it in chronological order. Focusing on the Word, I know my heart will be softened and I will be able to hear from Him more clearly. Simplifying social media (or reducing it significantly) will help to make more time for more important things.

So my one word for 2018 will be simplify. Happy New Year!